Second Chance?

It's about 2am and I'm still up. These past few days made me think(again) about how to live my life in these coming years. As I meet people whoa re younger than me in my classes, I've come to notice that really, it's time for me to finally grow up. I'm on my 3rd year in college and in less than 24 months, I'll be graduating. It scares me how I will face the world after UP.I'm sure there are a lot of possibilities out there for me, but there's this side of me that always worries about everything and right now, that's my biggest worry. Time is definitely trying to made me realize everything faster than what I want.

Just this morning, I wrote a message in a birthday card of a friend. While writing, I asked my friend(not the one with the birthday) regarding students who entered college while they were 15...almost 3 years before I(and my batch as well in Claret) entered college at 17/18. The conversation was short, but the thing is, it made me ponder for a while did I make the most out of those years and is it worth it. Up to now,I still haven't decided if everything was worth it and I'm still caught between trying to decide if I made the most out of those years. Frankly, things have been fast-paced, dragging me lane after lane swerving back and forth in a highway leading to who knows what. As I said to a friend,

Bro, my life as everybody knows it, is one hell of a roller-coaster ride.

It's too fast paced for me - things, everything.

I wish I had a remote control that dictates how time would pass. The roller-coaster ride is already taking its toll on me. Right now, everything for me is uncertain, everything is in shambles. I'd like to take control of it but I'm helpless. I don't how the hell I got myself into this situation. Anyway, I have no regrets, in fact, for a second there, I was thankful because without these, I won't grow as a person. Now have I grown far too much?

There are a lot of things that I want a second chance at...there are a lot of things that I would want to change, want to correct, want to finish. There are a lot of wants in my life and there are even a lot more what ifs. I guess that's where this roller-coaster ride is taking me for this part of my life- the want to's and what if's. Everybody deserves a second chance at everything right? But, after that chance is wasted, would there be another one? Is it right to let things just pass because you know more - that you understand everything clearer than last time? There are so many chances in this world that people just overlook.

I'll leave with a line from a song:

"Are you looking for answers to questions under the stars?
Well, if along the way you are grown weary
You can rest with me until a brighter day and you're okay "

thanks for reading. :)
au revoir!